I used to be a vegetarian. Then every time I saw chicken, my mouth watered. So I started eating organic, grass-fed chicken. So I ate it. Then in a drunken late-night food run, my friends and I went to Burger King. There in the glow of the backlit drive-thru menu, the chicken nuggets called out my name. It was all downhill from there. I eat chicken all the time now. I can’t help it, it’s just so tasty and nutritious.

Then how did I start eating bacon again? I have to say, it was a moral challenge to abandon my previous eating habits, as I’ve always been very conscious of the origins of my food, especially meat. Coupled with the fact that I want to have a pet pig when I grow up, the transition to bacon was pretty hard for me.

OK, so it wasn’t that hard. I was at my friend’s house and her mother brought out a plate of bacon with our breakfast. As it sat there on the table, I thought to myself, “So you’ve done chicken and turkey… you may as well go all the way. Eat the bacon.”

And with that, I picked up a piece and ate it. And it was fucking phenomenal. Nearly five minutes later, I was concocting bacon recipes in my head. I had seen a few recipes out there for maple bacon cupcakes, but none that seemed to use enough bacon fat. A tablespoon? Come on. How are you supposed to taste that?

So today I achieved culinary excellence. I put that delicious bacon into a cupcake and not only did it come out well, but I want to say it’s the best recipe I’ve ever made up.